Returns

We went to Bed Bath & Beyond last night to return a bunch of wedding gifts. Most of which were duplicates. Some of which were not on the registry to begin with. And others were just the wrong items. I did not return Eric.

We BOUGHT a load of stuff with the return money/store credit. We got a welcome mat, spoon rest, the coasters I wanted, a make-up mirror w/light, an American Idol shower radio/microphone, mattress pad, peanuts, wasabi peas, some other strange egg shaped object that Eric picked out which promises to grow us a pet, and a shoe rack. Favorite item? The mirror.

This mirror has 10x magnifying capabilities on one side and 1x on the other. This spectacular item is lighted and has a power outlet at the base. It is a wondrous tool. Not only can you pluck your eyebrows with incredible precision, you can also view your pores up close. Causing them all to appear as deep caverns within your facial tissue. You can point to, and name, each and every black head right on the tip of your nose. You can produce tears over the closeness you'll come to your aging face. It_Is_A_Must_Have!

The first thing I did with my lamp today is put on a face mask to remove the black heads I saw. Their names are Bob, Harry, Peter, Charles, Baxter, Frank, Hank, Sean, Tomb Raider, and Big Joe. The mask did nothing. The guys are still nonrent paying bastard blackheads that are taking up living space on the tip of my nose.

The good news is that my eyebrows ROCK!