The Clock ..... paused...

As a favor to Holly, on Tuesday morning I went over to her house at 6:30am so that I could take Brodie to day care. Holly had an early meeting that day and Brodie's daycare doesn't open until 7am. So off I went, early as shit, to see my sweet baby boy.....or "toddower" as he insists.

I think I hear him squawk at 6:45 so I tip-toe upstairs and open the door to his bedroom, to which he replies, "I'M AWAKE!" I announce that it is I, Jessie, that has come to wake him up today and he replies sourly with, "I want my Mommy!". This is a first. I've always been the favorite! After a few tickles I get him in to the fact that it's me -- and then I begin the next phase. Getting ready.

Brodie: "I want to wear my snowman shirt!"

Me: opening drawer, searching for a snowman shirt, find one "Here you go!"

Brodie: "No! The SNOWMAN SHIRT"

Me: "This IS a snowman shirt"

Brodie: Gripping his PJ tops in anger he repeats, "MY SNOWMAN SHIRT!!!!!"

Me: Realizing he means the snowman PAJAMAS HE'S CURRENTLY WEARING, I say with all the love I have inside -- "You can't wear your pajamas to school, sweetie. You can wear your snowman SHIRT though!"

Brodie: "NO!"

me: "Yes"

Brodie: "NO!"

me: "Yes"

Brodie: "NO!"

me: "Yes"

Brodie: "NO!"

me: "How about your FOOTBALL outfit?"

Brodie: "NO!"

me: Enthusiastic as hell I say --"How about your turtle shirt?"

Brodie: "NO!"

me: "Wanna brush your teeth?"

Brodie: "Yes!"

Me: silently.....SCORE.!!!!!

We're past it. I strip off his clothes while he's running to the bathroom to get his toothbrush. I dress him in his Redskins gear while he's squirting toothpaste on his brush. And eventually we go down the stairs. We're 15 steps closer to the front door.

Jess: 1
Brodie: 0

Once we're down stairs --- he eats a breakfast bar - in peace - on my lap. He even confirmed that he was happy about the football outfit -- "It's my football outfit!!"

Then I notice he has on short socks.

It's 30 degrees outside.

He needs long socks.

I run upstairs for the long socks.

Me: "Brodie, lets put these socks on because it's cold outside!"(I say it's like my secret...stupid me)

Brodie: "NO!"

Me: "But you're going to freeze sweetie!"

Brodie: "Nooooooo!" with sad-gonna-fake-cry-face

Me: "Do you want to be cold?"

Brodie: "I want short socks...." sad face continues

Me: Forcing on long socks....."it'll be ok Brodie"

Brodie: Angrily scrunches his socks down in silence - so that now the long warm socks are SHORTER than the "short socks".

Me: FUCK (silently) Fine! (Also silent) HAVE COLD ANKLES ALL DAY! (STILL silent)

We put on our coats. I lock the front door. I walk us to my car and pop him in the car seat (Yes, ladies and gents, I now have my very own car seat!!!). We've driven half way to the daycare when I realize that I've forgotten his bag. SHIT.

It's NOT just a bag.

It's THE bag.

THE BAG.

This bag has the money for the daycare provider, food, clothes, drinks, sippy cups, LIFE. So I breath. I say "shit" again, silently. I turn the car around and Brodie says, "Jessie, why we going backwards????"

I have no comment.

Eventually I drop the little bugger off, give him lots of kisses (which I'm sure he wiped off) and smoked two cigarettes on my way home.

The Bottom Line: On Monday My Clock was attacking me and on Tuesday Brodie was attacking it back.